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Heart Coach Institute

Robin Johnson, ACC • March 21, 2024 • 5 Minute Read

Accepting of our Trials

One of the trials I went through in my childhood was that my parents got divorced when I was twelve. I struggled in Jr. High to know how to deal with this and struggled even more in High School. I started resenting this trial in my life because it affected our family emotionally, financially, spiritually and mentally. By the time I wanted to get married, all sorts of difficulties arose. I didn’t realize that I was scared to commit to marriage. It was challenging for me to trust. I was embarrassed and angry that all of these feelings surfaced. My frustration increased.

When I was younger, I had a special blessing or prayer given for me that was written down so that I could refer to it throughout my life. That blessing became a guideline of strength and purpose and I referred to it often. One day as I read it, something jumped out at me that I had never noticed before. In the blessing it said: “In your life you will have joy and happiness but there will be trials and difficulties to overcome. If you accept them as such, they will be stepping stones to greater ability, greater understanding and greater faith.”

I had probably read that 100 times before I read it that day and I had never noticed those 4 little words: “Accept them as such”. I realized that I had not been accepting my trials, I had been resenting them. Some days I even hated them. I realized that if I was willing to accept my trials, I would be able to let them grow my soul.

When I accepted my trial as an opportunity for growth, I was humble enough to learn. The challenges that I faced in my childhood have motivated me to do the work I do today. I help other people facing their challenges to accept them and find a way to move through them. My trials led me to my career path and I am so grateful.

“Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.”- Ephesians 3:13

When we resist our trials, we are pushing against the very experiences that can teach us. When we resent our trials, we are often filled with anger, injustice maybe even a desire for revenge. These are some of the emotions that harden the heart.

When we are willing to accept our trials, they can become stepping stones to greater ability, greater understanding and greater faith. Our tribulations become our glory.

“Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.”   Brene Brown

As we come to accept our trials, we come to a point of surrender. In surrendering our will to God’s will, we show meekness. When we are meek and submissive, God can work with us and we are teachable. In a place of acceptance, we truly find peace.

Sometimes as we work with clients, the internal barrier they face is resistance. They have not accepted their trial. They are still angry, hurt, depleted, or feel betrayed. The problem is, “What you resist, persists.”

Simple questions can help open the way for a coaching client to be ready to accept their trial. 

Questions to support acceptance:

  • What is the trial you have been struggling to accept?
  • What do you need to feel safe letting it go?
  • What is stopping you from being willing to accept it?
  • If I keep resisting and resenting this trial, what will my life be like 10 years from now?
  • If you accept this trial and allow God to work in your life, what will your life be like 10 years from now?
  • Is there anything you need to feel safe accepting this trial? Fulfill that need.
  • When you are ready to accept your trial, what new commitment would you like to make to yourself?

Once we accept our trials, we are ready to release the negative emotions and open up to a pathway of learning and growth. There is room for a change of heart. You will feel a measure of peace you have never felt before. You are now ready to learn.

So many virtues can be called upon to help create that change of heart. When you look at a situation through the eyes of anger, it is a very different picture than when you look at the problem with the eyes of compassion. What do you see differently?

Try applying trust. Or allow yourself to focus on hope. How does your heart change when you connect to these tools for the heart? What could forgiveness do? What if you felt more humility? What about praying for grace in your life?

Accepting our trials is a pathway to growth and peace.

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